She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize