During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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