There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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