She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
