I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
