haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
