She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
