RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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