You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
