Ambien. No doubt about it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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