apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
