Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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