he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
