and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
