I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We are two peas in an std pod
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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