I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
