I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
