Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
