he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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