my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
