I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I got her a Nickelback box set.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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