oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
