Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
