I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
