she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
