I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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