Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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