We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
