His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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