anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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