I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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