I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
