Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
