so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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