Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
