just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize