just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
