Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
