you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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