so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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