the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
