I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
