I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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