if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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