Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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