I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize