Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
