Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
