have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
