That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
