this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
