aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize