well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
