Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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