I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
