i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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