Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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