I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
