Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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