we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
