Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
