i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i think i just lost a toe
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
