Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
