when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
