would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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