We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
