i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You took a bar mat shot.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
