i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
