Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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