Will you blow on my dice?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
