College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
