remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
