Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize