I skipped work to stalk him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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