OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I enjoy the company of your penis
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