Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
