I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
