Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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