3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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