When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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