Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
